I finished up the BC pills on Saturday. I am in the holding pattern this week. Wednesday is my baseline ultrasound, and
after I get a good report there, I think I will feel better. This time around, likely because of the last
cycle, I just feel uneasy. I am not
nervous, but anxious. I want this cycle
to go well, and I am very much hoping for more eggs/fertilization/blastocysts. I have had this uneasy feeling that it may
not work. That the FET might not go
well. And I am trying not to get worked
up, and I am trying to have faith. I
have to have faith that God would not bring everything together this far to not
give us a little baby. I will be a mom,
I just have to be patient, and calm down.
I cannot let myself flip out…but it is so hard.
I am definitely feeling more hormonal this time around. I just want to snap at everyone. All. The.
Time. I know I can’t, but in the moment,
I just feel better. It is awful, I
know. But I just feel so out of
control. And so fat. And so bored.
And so blah. Just a few more days
and then I will feel like I am back to actively doing something again. I can make it! Then, I will have to schedule my follow up
and get our news. Back to the pattern,
and this is only my 2nd time.
I don’t know how people can live like this for years…but I guess you
do. You figure it out and you do.
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