Crazy!

I am trying not to go absolutely nuts right now.  It is Monday, my transfer is on Friday, and it feels so close and still so far away.  I am incredibly nervous right now.  I have been trying to stay calm, but it is hard.  I keep having these reoccurring moments of terror that I forgot to take my meds, or change my patches, or something else like that, and now we can't move forward.  I don't know why that is so terrifying to me- to have to postpone the transfer, but it is.  I guess I am just afraid that it is a sign of something not meant to be, and I want so desperately to believe this baby is meant to be.  He is meant to be mine, and I am meant to be a mom.  I just need to have faith, take a deep breath, and try to relax.  Some of those are easier than others!!